"You don't know $#!T..."

Current mood:happy

WOW has this been a really long week. I am so lost i don't know where to start... It's been a while since I have been here.  Let me first start out by saying that if God's up there, He must really be laughing at my melodrama.
Did you ever just have "one of those days?" Well I did.  My "day" turned into a week. Which turned into months and now, about a year and a half. 

I woke up late this morning.  If you don't know me well, you may not be able to appreciate the fact that I am SO not a morning person.  I hate waking up more than anything else in life. Except going to bed.  Sleep is such an unproductive waste of time.  It is pointless. why bother? 

Well, when you don't do it for several days and then try to "nap" and wake up the next day, I know that I am often late for work.  I hate mornings.  That's why i am probably one of the biggest supporters to caffeine anywhere.  I love to live life a billion miles an hour with my hair on fire. 

A great new friend of mine once told me "never be afraid to try to get what you want out of life.  Don't settle, you gotta fight for it."  That is amazing to me. 

I am kind of an arrogant jackass sometimes.  Again to those of you who really truly know me, that might be an understatement.  I also have somewhat of a "god-complex."  I want to save the world and stuff.... right.
I asked someone to help me with something that happens to be outside my field of expertise.  I sort of just wanted to be told "Do this, read up on that, write about it in a journal, etc."  I had already made so damn many previous expectations in my own mind, that fulfilling my own preconceived ideas was impossible.  Back to reality- what she said essentially-you don't know jack, or you wouldn't be asking for my help in the first place!  that grabbed me by the throat.  Someone called me on my bullshit.  That hadn't happened in a long time.  wow. 

more on all of that another time, but as for now, I have to go check in on something, call someone, and be somewhere cause if i don't, I will end up a nobody, doing nothing, and I'll be nowhere. 

Ha-and I have to polish the rims of my 21 year-old "Rose colored glasses."

-"peace out, cub scout" and hi to all, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Shayna