Happy New Year, one and all! Any good resolutions?

I think, therefore I am...sick. ;-)

Denis Leary friend requested me on Myspace. I feel as popular as penicillin after spring break.

it's book and coffee weather. what are you reading?

Rights for Everybody, Except You.

I'm almost certain it was Rachel Maddow who brought up this point: If rights were really rights, how can you decide, all of the sudden they're up for grabs?  If it is my "right" to exist, to pursue happiness, liberty, etc, then there ought to be no exception whatsoever to that deal.  I think it's important to note that no group of oppressed people has ever gained rights denied by their oppressor without both a long fight, and some power transfer from the oppressor to the oppressed. 

The big bully in the playground who is always stealing the lunch money from the nerdy kid (OK, me), always wins.  Because the bully is stronger than the other kid, the weaker kid loses.  The bullied do not get to decide on what terms they may be bullied.  Albeit a farcical example, I maintain that it is a prime example for what is going on today in civil rights issues, women's rights, and bi-partisanship politics as a whole.  The money never belonged to the bully, and the bully's own lunch money was never at risk to begin with.  Against all good judgement whatsoever, I watched a clip of Ann Coulter regarding the repeal of DADT on YouTube.  "Putting girls and gays in the military, we're not taking the military seriously," are actually words that came flying out of her mouth. 

Warning! This clip may cause you to have a severe anxiety/rage episode, before playing, remove all sharp objects from arm's length.

Girls and gays are going to ruin the military?  The problem I have with this is that when you have someone whose function is to say outlandish things, and you are passing that off as news, the uninformed people who watch "entertainment news" are not even close to getting the actual truth. 

I must also add as a disclaimer that I'm an avid Rachel Maddow Show fan, because even though I'm super-liberal, the information she presents is the truth, not just some insane opinions. 

But back to the clip.  They're saying that most of the people who wanted DADT to be repealed are against the military.  Seriously?  Most of the people who fought so hard for DADT are or were IN the military!  How can someone be a vocal advocate for a policy that discriminates against who they are?! 

For the purposes of continuing with my analogy of the schoolyard bully, the LGBT service members who are subjected to unfair, discriminatory policy never tried to take away the rights of the heterosexist patriarchal oppressors.  They just did their jobs, lied about who they were, faced losing their careers, and died on the battlefield along with their straight peers.  The bully's rights were never in question, so why should the other kid's?

*It is also important to mention that I am also vehemently against bullying, and that in the end, the bully almost always ends up divorced, overweight, unhappy, and with a terrible comb-over. 

The Greatest Gifts of the Season

This past week, I've been given more gifts than I could have ever asked for.  The repeal of DADT from the Senate (which is to be signed by the president in 3 and a half hours), my car is finally almost done (superficial, but I'm still singing the Hallelujah Chorus), and my ridiculous schoolgirl crush on the professor has dissipated in 2 seconds flat.  I'm enjoying my free-time, minus the insanity of christmas shopping.

I've already beat the dead horse to death, so to speak with the DADT thing, and how overjoyed I am that this idiotic policy is finally going away, so I'll leave that one alone for now, until something significant else happens.

The car thing seems pretty self-explanatory.  I don't know if the God or the goddesses or whatever is up there just REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted me to learn dependence and how to be still, but I've gotten the point.  Enough already, I have stuff to do.  My wings got clipped, but they've grown in nicely, thank you very much.  I'm ready to hop from the nest, once again!

Oh the last thing.  Well just to summarize it all and not sound like a complete tool, I had a huge crush on a professor this past semester.  I got over it in about three seconds, after someone showed me their wedding picture.  I can't describe it, other than to be truly happy for someone else's happiness.  I think that's how I'd define peace and joy in my life.  (Side note-most adorable couple ever.)

I almost went on a date on Monday, but alas, being sans car really screwed that one up.  I really like this one.  We met at a concert...well, outside a concert.  I'll continue that story another day.

Time Flies

I have absolutely no clue who penned "time flies when you're having fun," but I've found to be half of the truth.  Time passes when you're not having fun, as well.  This past Saturday, the senate voted to repeal the Army's seventeen year policy, Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  The actual policy is still in place, but President Obama is expected to sign on this Tuesday.  After that, there is a 60-day Congressional review time, before the law is no longer effective.

These next two months will probably feel impossibly slow, but like all things waited upon, it will probably seem like the blink of an eye.  It feels like the eternal wait for the minute hand to finally reach the clock-out time at some terrible, mundane factory job.  I add that, as I've worked in a factory once.  It felt like voluntarily coming to the seventh circle of Dante's Inferno on a daily basis.

Anticipation.  I am probably one of the most impatient people I know.  I can't really hunt or fish (mostly because of the killing animals part) but it requires long hours of waiting.  Meditation is semi-calming, but I can't do it very long.  An hour is about all I can handle before I either fall asleep or think about too many other things.

I've waited for my fingernail polish to dry, only to realize I hate the color, as well as the shape of my fingernails, so with gobs of cotton balls and acetone, I erase my mistake, and start over again.  It reminds me of the writing process. The thoughts that whirr around in my mind seem to flow together in a conscious, coherent, and relevant way, until I pour them into text.  It is only after reviewing them, I usually wipe it all away with "CTRL + A" and the backspace key.  I don't like using the delete button. To me, "delete" seems like I've made a terrible decision and must fix it.  Backspace, however, is like a golf mulligan.  I get a "do-over."  As I am not a complete idiot, I am aware they both perform the same function, but to me there is a matter of aesthetics that I just do not get with "delete."

Speaking of writing, I am finally continuing my story.  I am still not convinced that my story would be entertaining, translatable, or even possible, but I'm doing it anyhow.  My "Intro to Women's Studies" professor told me she can't wait to read it.  It was somewhat endearing.  I've looked at some of my grades from this semester.  I was pretty appalled.  I've received grades far higher than I know I deserved in several classes, and two that could have been substantially higher than they were.  I am appreciative, but feel that the impending semester will be another feat of academic endurance.  This one should have been one also, but I kept waxing and waning between overdrive and idling.  I really AM terrible with balance.  At least I know of one class that I will enjoy pushing myself for.

On that note, I'll address the rest in my next post.

Shayna

PS I've added "meet Janeane Garofalo" to my bucket list.

Age of Reason

I try to avoid, whenever possible, sweeping generalizations because as the great Lewis Black once said, "We are all like snowflakes."  I realized today, however that we are all the same, at heart.  No matter what the candy-coated shell looks like, or what you call it, or which way you twist the M to a W or vice-versa, we're essentially creatures fueled by the same basic human needs.  We all need to eat. As I once learned from a book, "Everybody Poops," we all do that too. We all need love.

That last thing is the part I'm going to pick up and run with.  I never pretend to be a therapist; I feel that there are enough qualified, trained professionals already.  I only have my experiences and my observations, but what it all adds up to is we need love.  "People need people." (Unless you are one of those creepy loner types who lives in a basement or attic and has memorized every line to several sci-fi movies, which you might use as a novelty act at parties should you one day get invited to one...I digress) 

I realized today that I am beyond my "fling" phase of young adulthood.  I am ready to meet someone fabulous and settle down and just be in a serious monogamous relationship.  Here's my caveat to that:  I am ready to MEET someone new.  I've dated crazy people, married people, boring people, poly-amorous people, and clearly unavailable people.  I am ready to meet someone real and be in love again. 

Love is a really weird thing.  I've found that it makes me do ridiculous things, like fly around the world, sing songs in public (a la John Cusack from Say Anything),  and an endless list of otherwise completely insane behavior.  Why? Because I'm half convinced that being in love is somewhat like having a mental illness.  We all know what I'm doing is crazy, but I can't stop myself from chasing that feeling like a predatory jungle cat.

I suppose my big epiphany is less of an epiphany and more of a small mental "click." I have after several months, finally decided to move on and stop daydreaming about the unavailable (and out of my league) professor, as well as the married, crazy, or otherwise delinquents.


I never thought I had anything to bring to the table, but lo, and behold, there are lots of things on my table. I finally have enough self-respect to take myself serious.  The bar is higher, the risk greater, but I'm enjoying the view.