On A Serious Note-

Let me first preface what I am about to say with the fact that I am not a counselor or shrink or any other professional in mental health. Okay, disclaimer out of the way, now on to the heart of the matter.

There has been an amazing outpouring of people posting videos in response to the suicide last week of Tyler Clementi. Celebrities, sympathizers, others who have walked down that road have taken some time to stop and say, "You are not alone." That sort of reaching out can mean the world, even if only to one person. One life lost is STILL a tragedy! Nobody should ever be hazed or isolated that they feel like there is nobody in their corner.

I know this firsthand. I was in that place at a few times in my life. I felt that it didn't matter, and that if I weren't here tomorrow, nobody would even notice I was gone. A friend of mine in Germany gave me a copy of a book. It was Kate Bornstein's Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws. I read it and suddenly I felt renewed. I can't promise that if you're considering killing yourself that her book, specifically will be the one thing that changes your mind, but for me, it was. It lists a multitude of things in lieu of such a permanent decision as death.

I was reading "Auntie Kate's" blog and she reminded me of a very important fact. If someone HAS left, she suggests, they did so because they had to. She brings up a very important idea, that we shouldn't blame ourselves, but rather, to allow them the dignity of agency.

Now, I'm not condoning suicide, nor am I saying we shouldn't try to stop those who are feeling like that is the only alternative. I've been there, and I can say that what made the most difference for me was in that moment of darkness, to do two things. I thought of the people in my life who I thought might care a little (i.e. my mom, my best friends, etc) and consider whether or not they'd care.

That is really hard to do when the light of the world is so dim that you're thinking of ending your life, so the other thing I managed to do is to come up with a goal or plan of some sort. I've found that I'm a really goal-oriented person, so coming up with some activity, whether it be reading a book, typing a blog entry, talking to someone about their day, volunteering, whatever, helps me to focus my attention on some physical activity, rather than the hopelessness of my situation.

My feelings toward the "We Give A Damn" campaign still hold; I believe that it is important to hear that someone cares about you, even if they've never met you. I care about you, even if you think nobody else does.

If you're open to suggestions, try picking up a copy of Kate's book, or talk to someone at either
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

They have trained professionals, clearly more qualified than I am, but you can always just use my blog page, click on my FB link and send me a confidential msg on Facebook.

Once again, I care.
<3 Shayna