Jonah Mowry: Is the video real, faked, or does it matter?

When I saw the video above, I'm not going to lie, I sobbed.  I guess it hits close to home, and I really really really hate gay bullying.

But then I noticed a tiny link in a comment under the video saying the whole thing was faked and it was a hoax, AND LOTS MORE BULLYING.  Right because to fight fire, you shouldn't use water, you should ABSOLUTELY use gasoline.  (sigh.)

I don't know if he actually lied or what, but he does kind of come off as annoying and I think he deleted it because: one, it's a crappy video, and two, it's not very eloquent or well thought out.  The first one had cards and real emotions.  I get that he's trying to thank people for being nice, and kind of call out the ones who aren't, BUT I'm not buying the facade in this video. This kid is not doing better, and needs some help.  Maybe I'm naive, but I'd hate to troll this kid for being fake, if he actually took it down because he is ACTUALLY hopeless.

The second video was posted on his YouTube account, then almost immediately deleted and was about four months after the first one in August.


At the end of the day there are three important things to think about here, none of which include "did this kid lie?"  He's a teenager and he's bound to lie about something at some point, so not a big deal.


This kid was sensationalized because although he was bullied from first grade, began self-mutilation at second grade (and is now just starting eighth grade), and was targeted and bullied for being gay, he somehow voices a message of strength.  It's kind of a "I HOPE it gets better" video.

I've been a teenager and bullied and an outcast.  Sometimes the only voice you can hear cheering for you is your own, whether it be "faking it till you make it" or genuine.  Who cares, like I said, there are three thing that are take-home messages from all of this.

1. Where is this kid right now, and how does he REALLY feel?
2. It takes some time to heal wounds, physically and emotionally, so I believe the first one before I would buy the second.
3. Whether either are real or faked or whatever, there has been an outstanding flood of support to this kid and other bullied abused kids.  That positivity can't be manufactured.  Four months can't undo eight years of hell, but knowing you're not the only person in the world who feels like you do and gets called names means something. 

Most folks have seen Dan Savage's "It Gets Better" video, or "I Give a Damn," or even one of the "FKH8" videos.  My favorite is still the crumpled up piece of paper parable.  Bullying is like folding a piece of paper, or balling it up.  You can kind of undo the damage a little, but there are permanent effects.

Instead of trolling to see whether this kid is telling the truth or not, go find someone to stand up for.  Maybe even your own kids, neighbors, relatives, or the weird kid who always eats alone.  If you are an adult and you know this kid or a kid in his shoes, REACH OUT. Sometimes life is messy, and it's better to have a complicated situation with someone who is still here, than to wonder what you should or could have done.

All it takes is to care about someone to change their life.

Peace, Love, and Rock and Roll,
Shayna

I Give More Than A Damn.

After this week's backlash of the Rutger's Student suicide/bullying tragedy, a whole bunch of celebrities have stepped forward to plead with distraught teenagers (and young adults) to not give in to the negativity of the bullies. I remember what high school was like, and frankly, it sucked! Teenagers (and pre-teens) can be some of the cruelest, most malicious people alive. I think I'd rather share a cell with Manson than have to go back to the hell of the "Mean Girls." Everyone's awkward; that's just life, but to then specifically single out LGBTQIA kids is about as fair a fight as Hellen Keller vs an Army Ranger.

How can we help? The weird dynamic of all parents (which I am not) is that one of the most common goals of a parent is to make their child's experience a little better than theirs was. How can we do that? In my experience, the US Army does something that I really like (I don't say that very often). There is mandatory suicide training three times a year to recognize signs and symptoms, know what to do, as well as suggest alternatives and other resources. They always conclude this training with passing out a "what to do" type card, about the size of a business card. It has a 24 hour toll-free hotline for those in crisis or just for people with questions.

After a little research, I found a few resources that I think might help. One is called the Trevor Project, named after the movie in the early '90's. (Which admittedly, I didn't research, a professor told us about it this past Wed.)
The website also has a 24 hour crisis line for crises or any LGBTQIA youth issues.

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
1866-488-7386

Along with this resource, is the celebrity based "We Give A Damn" campaign, which is being sponsored by the other wonderful activist organization of Cyndi Lauper. There are seemingly endless celebrities who have endorsed this campaign to end the silence, end the indifference, and end this epidemic.

http://www.WeGiveADamn.org



I've bought one of the t-shirts from the website, as on a college student's salary, I couldn't really afford to just donate a million dollars, but I'll wear my shirt in a pic and change my FB status to it.

There are zillions of ways to get active. Do something. Check out a website, find organizations, and invest time and heart. We're all human beings, so let's start treating each other that way!

<3 Shayna