1000 RPM's in Neutral

I almost forgot that I'd committed to blog daily. I was thinking, I posted three or four in one day, I'm actually ahead... but I decided to not subject my new hobby to the all-star slackerdom that I've grown accustomed to in other facets of my life!

So today, as I was speaking to a few people, I've reaffirmed a few priorities. It is easy to place a hobby or obligation ahead of a chore or other task that I don't really want to do, especially if I can somehow mentally manipulate that activity into taking some morally or intellectual superiority over the more mundane idea of something else. It's fairly easy to spend an hour in meditation or at a church or making small-talk with someone I've just reconnected with, in lieu of washing the dishes or studying.

I, like many of my friends, suffer from some cataclysmic-level of procrastination and laziness. The twisted part of that fact is that in my own mind, I don't view it as lazy, just a misappropriation of effort. It seems almost laughable at the moment, but I am currently exhausted and it is past my bed-time. At this very moment, per usual, I am prolonging my sleep for some senseless activity that I can justify for some reason or other.

Sometimes I wonder if there are other people like me, who repeat this insane cycle of perpetuating procrastination. It almost operates of its own accord, completely disregarding what I actually have to accomplish. I doubt that I'm an Internet addict or would honestly be diagnosed as having obsessive-compulsive disorder, but the nonsensical things that I allow myself to waste time on is astounding.

If hoarding is a legitimate psychological disorder, then what my chronic inability (which I need to mention is selective) to do what I am supposed to, is also a psychiatric condition. I say selective, because in many situations, I do take the appropriate actions, and often in a prompt manner. It's almost as if I operate conditionally in a state of chaos and when things are running smoothly, I am uncomfortable and bored. So, in my sub- or unconscious mind, I must create some disturbance or imbalance to stack the situation out of my favor, that my success is a major triumph, or in the event of my failure, "it wasn't a fair fight to start with."

All is not lost, though, I've started some showing some self-discipline, as this insane and selfish behavior has resulted in becoming skilled at things from medical knowledge to teaching myself to play the guitar, and this very documentation of thought!

Until I feel like it,
Shayna

My Bucket List

I know everyone's doing these now, and it's far from original, but here are the things I'd like to do before I bite the big one... (in no particular order)

1. Visit Australia
2. See a volcano
3. Drive across the United States.
4. Protest at a rally
5. Record a CD
6. Donate bone marrow
7. Make it to all 7 continents
8. See the pyramids in Egypt
9. Climb a mountain
10. Write a book
11. Have my picture taken with a celebrity
12. Attend a live taping of a TV show
13. See the Amazon Rainforest
14. Perform jury duty
15. Tour NASA/ Meet an astronaut
16. Hike the entire Appalacian Trail
17. Shave my head
18. Get a tattoo
19. Visit all 50 states
20. Attend a film festival
21. Go skydiving
22. See a solar eclipse
23. Perform comedy in front of an audience
24. Perform music in front of an audience
25. Get a trophy for doing something athletic
26. Learn a martial art, and get a black-belt
27. Get a SCUBA certification
28. Swim with sharks
29. See the Seven New World Wonders (Machu Pichu, Peru; Taj Mahal, India; Great Wall, China; Petra, Jordan; Colisseum, Rome; Christ Redeemer, Brazil; Chichen Itza, Mexico)
30. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge
31. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge
32. Walk across the Woodrow Wilson Bridge
33. Stand at the Four Corners Monument (Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona)
34. Ride a donkey down the Grand Canyon
35. See and photograph the Aurora Borealis
36. Go on a Safari in Africa
37. Go to the Galapagos Islands
38. Visit Komodo Island, Indonesia
39. Milk venom from a poisonous snake
40. Go on a Buddhist trip to Tibet
41. Go on a trip to Israel
42. See Pompeii
43. Visit Stonehenge
44. See Easter Islands
45. Get to meet a musician backstage
46. Kiss the Blarney Stone
47. Chase and photograph a tornado
48. Walk on hot coals
49. Photograph lightning
50. Join the mile-high club. Again.

This short list was actually really difficult to come up with , as there are so many things that I've already experienced (Sunset on the Pacific coast, fly in a helicopter, kiss at the Eiffel Tower, live in Europe, join the Army, Sunrise on the beach, etc.)

Put Your Tofu Where Your Mouth Is

Well much to the dismay of my high school social studies teacher, I'm going vegan again. I re-joined PETA, and so have stopped with the meat, milk, and eggs. I had cereal for breakfast this morning, but even this lifestyle choice isn't really too difficult this go-round. When I went vegan in high-school, it was pure altruism. Looking back, it was more naivety, but who's really counting? I don't consider animals some vice that I must "quit." I am just really for an animal's right to be here just like we are. I like soy.

I think activism must start somewhere, and since I really don't have the "How-to guide," like Gloria Steinem said, "Activism starts with action."

I'm supposing that eating (or abstaining from eating) is an action. I think for me, it's a practical way to contribute on many levels, like becoming more green, among other things. The difference between "then" and "now" is "then" was a fad, whereas "now" is more of a lifestyle choice.

Thank you for reading.
Tomorrow's topic is going to be my "bucket list."
-Shayna

Pat Robertson is Haitful.

I am not sure if this was as appalling to you as it was to me, but I thought I'd go ahead and just write down some of my raw raging thoughts regarding the Pat Robertson fiasco. I know I should be shocked that a televangelist has once again said something stupid or contradictory of Christianity.

Before I go on any further into this rant, I would like to first turn my thoughts and prayers to Haiti at their time of great need. May we band together during the coming weeks and months to show the world that we CAN set an example of how to help our fellow humans.

OK, so when I was going to view the clip on YouTube, I thought for a second, "it can't be that bad." But then I heard him utter the words, "it may be a blessing in disguise..." and there all hope was lost. We're talking about potentially a hundred THOUSAND PEOPLE. I generally consider myself an optimist, but how is the death of 100,000,000 people a blessing? But it doesn't stop there, Mr. Robertson goes on (nobody knew why) to say that Haitians made a pact with the devil for their independence and that this was their punishment from God.

That is not only nonsense, but as Ambassador Raymond Joseph was interviewed by Rachel Maddow, he stopped for a moment to address the Robertson nonsense. He added that whatever the pact made with the devil is irrelevant, as the reason that USA was able to make the Louisiana Purchase for fifteen million dollars was due to the Haitian revolution from France in 1804.

Well, all Satanic speculation aside, Haiti is a nation who unprecedentedly gained Independence from slavery by overthrowing their European rule. I personally feel that this should have been more of a heartfelt truth to bind us with our neighbors, as we, too struggled in the beginning. But what precedence nobody mentioned is that Pat Robertson turned this devastation and suffering into the modern-day version of The Crucible, by Arthur Miller. It's times like this I'm really hoping that with enough people, we can turn the tides and support our fellow human-kind, instead of paying attention to the loud voices that say nothing.

Mr. Robertson seems to be a bit forgetful of what's actully in his God's rule-book. The bible says, Love your Lord God, and to love your neighbor as yourself.

(I know it's not verbatim, but that's what it means. If it's a huge deal, just look it up, yourself. ;-D )

Also if you notice, there is a link on the side, to the American Red Cross if you haven't yet found a way to contribute.

-Peace and Love,

Shayna

Newbie

Okay, so admittedly it sounds a bit cliche that I have only just now decided to start my blogging career, as I am a college student in the midst of all that is expression and learning about life. As my history has revealed to me, my journal entries have ranged from senseless word vomit to music reviews, and even short stories and essays. Hopefully I can just do all of that here, instead of on the hundreds of composition books and tablets scattered throughout my apartment, car, dorm room, and wherever else they live. I'm not sure if anyone will even read any of this, but it will probably prove to be an interesting experience for me! My goal is to do one blog per day, as schedule permits, and we'll just go from there!

home at last...

Current mood:awake

I am so super excited to be home finally. I don't have to deal with the same crap i had to for way too long.  i finally am going back to the job i love and the hobbies i miss so much.   don't worry, though, I am still behaving well.  Already found Rachel and went on a random road trip across the state line with my mom's hijacked car... it was pretty cool, to relive old times.  "right or left... hurry up the road ends!"  yeah reckless endangerment is always a blast, except now I am much more aware of the stupid things I do...
I haven't been doing all of the things that i am supposed to do- something about muffins and Barbara f'ing bush!!! ask my Special K about that one... 

I am taking this all alot harder than i thought i would.  I miss them a lot and am also conflicted about how to do something else that i have been meaning to do for a while but have been putting off... i am such a procrastinator.  I think that that is a really fancy name for Sloth, one of those danged 7 deadly ones.

I have, however made it through another day "successfully" and might i add, not of my own doing!  My physical for my return to work was this morning, and i had to get another PPD, the Doc told me i had PTSD, and asked about one of the other questions i answered....the only one on the form that i was praying she wouldn't see.  but she did, and i had to own up to it, hell i was surprised i even answered it honestly, but that's me now, rigorously honest-especially when my job and livelihood depend on it. Gotta go for now, it's about 0220 and I need some sleep.  I am meeting some friends at 8 am.  No, that's not a joke. I can do it if I keep awake.  OK- old behavior.  I will go to bed. 

If anyone actually reads this, send me an email or something!  I am curious to know who is reading this or not!
luv ya, Shayna

what’s crackin?...me with the books!

Current mood:busy

Hola and good day!  So I don't remember where exactly I left off before, but i was probably whining about something or other. Life today is peachy.  I can't complain.  I figured out that i am not capable of being in a relationship at the moment. That's good to know.  I don't have to worry about some messy problems down the line, i guess.  My EMT class started this week.  It's ridiculous, I feel like i am in remedial EMT school.  whatev' as Rachel says so frequently.  I had my first test today and scored in the top 3, but since there are 25 in the class, that's not good enough for me, i have to ace the rest of the tests. It's not like they're really hard or in depth. 
I am being activated once more, this time stateside though.  12-18 mos in Fort Belvoir, VA.  So that's good, more CONUS time, which will carry me out to 18 mos left in the IRR at that point, and elections over with.  I just want to get the hell out of the army.  They told me I'm leaving sometime in July, but we all know how that goes.... 72 hours notice, anyone?

I don't get to spend time with my good friend, Special T, (or T-dawg, as i probably have never called her) The working different shifts and weird down-times makes keeping up to date a pain.  I shouldn't say it like that, because it's far from what i mean. I love spending time with her, but it's virtually impossible to synch schedules.

that's all i got folks, busy but happy!
Plug in and Rock out!
PS, Brian, yes i will come get my crap someday, i swear! miss u too!
-Adios, Shayna